Hoho Restaurant
| Address: | 3404 SE Cesar Estrada Chavez Blvd, Portland, OR 97202, USA |
| Phone: | +1 503-775-8888 |
| Rating: | 3.6 |
| Working: | 11AM–10PM 11AM–10PM 11AM–10PM 11AM–10PM 11AM–10PM 11AM–10PM 11AM–10PM |
Location
Photos 100
Reviews 7
DR
Drew Thorsen
This is the worst place Ive been to in a while. Im not picky, and I will pay an exorbitant amount for Chinese food because its generally at least okay, but this was awful. Got the kung pao and some sesame tofu with some hot and sour on the side. Carried it home to my abode to scarf it down with some beers while I watched the blazers and as I was carrying it, I felt something wet....something hot? Was it...leaking? Awe. All over my arm. I make it home, plop the hot mess down on the counter and begin to clean my jacket of the coagulated - I dont know what - sauce. Okay, now its time to eat - whatever, the containers are just cheap. What is that smell? Is that the soup? I pop open the container, and a rush of nostalgia comes to me - the first time I smelled afterbirth on puppies. Alright, well maybe it doesnt taste so bad. I loaded up a plate, cracked a beer and set myself down to catch the second quarter. I fork up a bite to my tongue and it tasted like dissapointment. Sauceless(because it was busy hanging out on my sweater), little chunks of styrofoam chicken creaking between my molars, as the cruch of celery was almost enough drown out my verbal groans of disgust. This isnt okay. My stomach started to turn immediately after slurping down the walrus bile they call soup. I couldnt do it. I called them back and asked if they would refund my money. Im no Kardashian - I wasnt going to put $30 dollars in the trash. I mean, Im an American, but one man can only be so wasteful. She says she doesnt understand why I dont like it. She says everyone likes their food. She says their food is very popular. I tell her its nothing personal, I just cant eat the dumpster diet of a wild raccoon. She then concedes and tells me if I bring it back I can have my money back. I walk the .6 miles back to the restaurant, constantly in fear of the possible anal leakage that Im sure will ensue the gelatinous goop I ingested over their garbage disposal refuse they call food, and I make it to Hohos. I put the mess I so wisely placed into a paper shopping bag after the coat incident, onto the counter. She asks me what my name is, I tell her, she procedes to tell me she doesnt get why I didnt like it. It must be a personal problem. A PERSONAL PROBLEM. Sure, taste is subjective, but I dont lick the bottom of my fridge, I dont suck on hand rails at the local mall, Ive never slobbered on a piece of bubble gum blackened by street grit, and maybe thats the problem. Because ALL of these things seem more satisfying then eating your Chinese food. All of these things would be more culinarily accepted by Gordon Ramsay, 76% of culinary schools across the world or any one of the original iron chefs, then your awful, awful food. Not to mention, just give me my damn money back. If you were so popular, I think you could afford $30 bucks to a guy who apparently has a personal issue with his taste buds. Terrible. Do yourself a favor of youre in the mood for terrible Chinese food and go to Safeway. At least they might give you your money back.
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Susan Beatrice
I asked if they had soba noodles and was told yes. I said I would like them with chicken.and was brought a large bowl with huge pieces of vegetables covering everything. Not being able to eat such large vegetables (not their fault). Then I got to the noodles which were super thin and starchy that were ok to eat but i asked about the noodle size, to wit she said there are small and large noodles. The chicken wasnt too bad. I was super hungry and had to catch a bus, I ate the funky noodles and chicken. The tea I had to ask for was so plain, like really watered down black tea. I asked for a Pepsi and I thought I was sure I saw her get it out of a cooler by the cash register but I received a medium size glass with ice and pepsi poured in it. I believe she filled it again from the bottled she opened. When I had to leave I paid my bill then she said, oh i didnt charge you for the Pepsi. It is my opinion that this business cuts corners which causes them to lose business or business is slow so that is why they cut corners.
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Selena R
New to the neighborhood and my BF and his brother got to try this place without me first. They came home raving about the quality of the food for the price. They are booth foodies so I normally trust their judgement. I was pretty jealous and couldnt wait to try it out. We went today and I was not disappointed. The BBQ beef appetizer was great. My wonton soup was perfect and both of our entrees were well seasoned and everything tasted wonderful. Nothing was too sweet or sticky or mushy like most other cheaper Chinese restaurants. Service was a little lacking but there were only two guys taking care of the dining room and to-go on a busy Friday lunch. I thought the price was awesome! $5.75 for the lunch special?! I will be back again and again. :)
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Hannah Miller
HAND DOWN BEST CHICKEN FRIED RICE IVE FOUND IN MY 26 YEARS OF EXISTING. Im a Chinese takeout snob and always search around for who has the best of my favorite things and these guys win the chicken fried rice award. It is so light yet somehow not bland at all, delicious juicy large pieces of chicken and fluffy large bits of egg which I LOVE. I deliver for caviar and anytime I get an order to pick up from them I cant help but place my own order to pick up while Im there. It is pricy for a "fried rice" but this is more of a meal so its not pricy for what you get. They cram it FULL and put like half a chicken in there.
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Kyle Beirley
Fast and friendly service gets 5 stars but seeing as how this is a restaurant my rating is food based. Dont order the crab puffs as theres ABSOLUTELY NO CRAB in them whatsoever! They sell them as crab puffs because they supposedly look like crabs when fried... I definitely called them out on this and recommended they change the name to cream puffs since thats all that is in them. The general Tsos chicken contains just enough chicken to be able to put chicken in the title! I wouldnt recommend this place to anyone. In fact, SAVE YOURSELF THE DISAPPOINTMENT! ILL NEVER EAT HERE AGAIN.
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Steven Montano
I dont know where the previous commenters have eaten Asian food but as a person who loves Asian food and eats Asian food often, I would have to say this one of the worst. There is little combination choices. When I ordered the Cashew shrimp there were five shrimp and almost all celery. The Mongolian beef was mostly onion and the food was bland. The “egg flour soup” was a weak chicken broth with cubes of tofu. I didnt mind not tipping because Ill never go there again
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Gretta maine coon mix Cat Named gretta
*shrug* ordered from grubhub, which is a cool company. Food fell short. No soy sauce, or any extras. One container of rice for 2 meals, (which cost over $10 each) tasteless egg flower soup, and crab soup.. Are you kdding me?? Fake crab.. The general tso chicken wasnt bad, sweet and sour chicken was standard. The stars are for the grubhub delivery dude, who didnt mind delivering food to an rv parked on a dark parking lot.. Otherwise, wouldnt recommend eating here.
